What to Do Before You Feel Upset to Your Partner

Before you get upset with your partner over something – like not remembering a chore you asked them to do – ask yourself this question: Will I care about this a year from now?

The journal Social Psychological and Personality Science calls that “future thinking”……and a study found that this “future thinking” trick made people less likely to blame their partners during an argument, and more likely to forgive them after a fight.

The researchers explain that taking a minute to think about where you might be with your partner in the future – and considering your overall life together – can help you gain perspective on the situation when you’re upset. And it can prevent the heat of the moment from clouding your thinking and making you say things you can’t take back. 

Also, if the future you envision with your partner is positive, with your bond getting stronger over time, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So before you start getting upset with your spouse over something, think about whether it’ll matter in the grand scheme of your relationship a year from now. If not, let it go.