Newsflash: Nice guys can finish first! Being nice is the surest way to get what you want at work, in your community, and at home. When we treat people well, they try to help us reach our goals. Our niceness inspires niceness in others. That’s the gist of business man Jack Mitchell’s new book, Hug Your People: The Proven Way to Hire and Inspire and Achieve Results. We read about this in the Bottom Line Personal and here’s how to increase your nice factor:
Show you care when it’s not expected – and make it personal. People expect a card on their birthday or flowers on Valentine’s Day, but to really build bonds, you need to show you care when it’s unexpected. So try this trick – stick 10 pennies in your left pocket. During the day, phone or email people just to tell them how much you appreciate them. Every time you do, move a penny to the other pocket. Don’t stop until all the pennies are in your right pocket.
Check in, don’t check up. Managers and parents – this is for you! When you ask a question like, “So, how’s that project coming along?” it can be interpreted as meaning you don’t trust that person to get the job done. Instead, ask this way: “What do you think of that project?” or “Anything I can do?” Then you’re focusing on the task and not its status – and the person will feel less defensive.
Extend invitations. Everybody likes to feel included – so even if you think somebody knows they’re welcome to join you, ask anyway. Ask even if you think they’ll say no. People like to be asked – to lunch, to join a meeting, to your house.
Shift the focus to the positive. Praise what a person does well before addressing what they do poorly. Not only will your praise soften the blow, it’ll make the person more likely to listen and that increases the odds that your message or advice will be taken to heart. Let’s say your gardener has let some hedges go wild, say this: “Hey, the yard looks great! The hedges at the side could use some trimming to look just as good. Can I count on you to take care of that this week?” That’s a much more positive way of asking than saying, “Will ya trim the hedges for Pete’s sake?!”
