Have you heard about the ‘friendly divorce?’ According to The Arizona Republic, more and more couples are going the ‘friendly’ route after watching friends or relatives go through traumatic separations. So how do you have a ‘friendly divorce’ when you’re not feeling very friendly toward each other? By treating each other with respect and making it about what’s best for your family. The new kind of divorced mom and dad might attend parent-teacher conferences together, help with driving the kids around – even if it’s not a visitation day, and share calendars so Dad can arrange to take the kids when Mom’s out of town on business. One man mentioned in the article divorced his wife after 16 years of marriage. They decided to do mediation because it wasn’t about who got the better deal. It was about making things easier on their daughter. Now, they have such a civil relationship that he stays in his ex-wife’s guest room when he comes to visit their daughter.

Mediation means you both agree not to battle things out in court – but to hash things out civilly between you with the help of mediator. The mediator helps set a structure, a timeline and helps you reach a negotiation. Want another way to have a friendly divorce? Collaboration. That’s where splitting spouses both retain attorneys and use experts like financial advisors, psychologists, and divorce coaches to come up with a solution that works for everyone.

A friendly divorce can save you a lot of money. A tradition divorce can stretch out for months – or years – and cost both parties $25,000. A mediated divorce costs about $3,000 total. A collaborative divorce costs a bit more – about $9,000 - mostly because of the experts. A divorce with no kids involved and a do-it-yourself legal kit may run about $1,000 including court fees.

Still, the best reason for a friendly divorce is the kids. Clinical social worker Barbara Schaffer says that how parents interact and handle their divorce sets the tone for the years ahead, and kids who remain close to both parents are less stressed by divorce. Also, dads who’re connected to their kids are more likely to keep up with their financial and emotional obligations.